Learning to Live a Life of Brokenness


I am constantly amazed at how you can have everything in life figured out, at least seemingly figured out, then realize that all you figured out was a lie. Sometimes it can be my fault, other times it can be others fault.

Recently, I finished a book titled “The Emotionally Healthy Church”. It talked about living a life of brokenness and vulnerability while also learning to take time through a grieving process, how your response to situations and even your thought process affect who you are as a leader within the church. I never thought that I’d be putting my newfound knowledge into practice as soon as I did.

I found myself in the midst of a situation where lies were built upon lies. I had no idea and was completely ignorant to the situation. This situation greatly affected me for a short time but I remembered that I shouldn’t hide my pain, my agony, I shouldn’t boast it, but I should take my time with it, show I am just like everybody else with it.

While my mindset of wanting to pursue ministry within a church full time said that it needs to be hidden and show little weakness. God only knows where I found that theology. But I’m glad it changed. If I want to be an effective leader, I need to share my weakness and sorrows, not in a way that pulls others down, but shows that even though I’m in leadership, I still need God just as much as everybody else does. It makes me a real person instead of an inapproachable person.

 “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” 2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT

I don’t want to be a leader who makes it seem like my life is perfect and it was all done on my strength with God at my side. I want to be that leader that leads people to the cross showing them that I rely on Jesus in my daily life just as much as everybody else. That wherever I end up in life, be it somewhere desirable by others or not, that my life through both actions and words points all of it to God in a glorifying way!

If we as Christians, if I as a Christ follower choose to live our life as Paul says in his letter to the Romans of allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us with love (Romans 5:5). We can most certainly forgive those who sin against us. In my case at this moment, those who’s lies I have been around.

Food for thought.

Any comments, questions, thoughts. Feel free to let me know!

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